An old friend recently reminded me that I’ve never really cared about what other people think about me or if something on me doesn’t look “right.” Chronic headaches diminished that part of my personality for a long time because I spent so much time judging myself that I assumed that everyone else was judging me too.
Anyway, I think my “who cares?” attitude is on its way back. I know this because I have a lump in my chest that’s a little smaller than a cigarette box, which has a 3″ scar on top of it.
After the surgery, the scar bothered me the most. I knew I’d have a lump and I adjusted to that beforehand, but I didn’t think about the scar. Very silly, I know, but it just didn’t occur to me. My doc did a nice job sewing it up, but, as my mother-in-law said, he’s no plastic surgeon. If this matters to you and you are willing to pay for it, you can probably get a plastic surgeon to do your stitches. Keep in mind that it will need to be opened up again to have the battery replaced, so this will be a recurring expense.
Although it irritates me sometimes that people look at the box, I generally don’t care. If I like a shirt that doesn’t cover it, I wear the shirt anyway. But I don’t wear scoopneck T-shirts anymore. Otherwise, I only try to hide it if I’m going somewhere that I want to be sure that I don’t draw attention to myself (like at a wedding) or if I don’t want to talk about it (like at my high school reunion).
If there’s an outfit that shows the lump and I absolutely must wear it, I throw a scarf over my shoulders or wear some sort of wrap. I just found a dress with a V-neck front and back that’s cut to cover the scar perfectly. I’m sure that was the designer’s intention.
You can see the wires in my neck a little bit, but only if you know where to look. Most people won’t even notice it and, if they do, they’ll think it’s a vein. Besides, if you have no qualms showing off the box, no one will pay any attention to the wires. 🙂
A small part of the back of your head will be shaved for the surgery. For almost everyone, it will be covered by hair. A week before my trial implant, I shaved my head. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do and for once I wasn’t working, so I did it. Two months was all it took for the part my docs re-shaved to blend into a short haircut. Unless your hair is super short, the spot won’t be noticeable. If it is, any good stylist can cover or blend it.
