Chronic Marriage is a fabulous blog on chronic illness and marriage that I’ve just stumbled upon. The blogger, Helena Madsen, not only discusses issues that relationships face when one partner has a chronic illness, but gives concrete suggestions for coping with them. Some that have caught my eye:
- How to Stop Believing You’re a Burden
- Accused of Exaggerating Your Illness?
- Could Fear Be Behind Your Spouse’s Indifference?
- Would You Marry Someone Chronically Ill?
- How You Respond Makes All the Difference
The posts are directed toward married heterosexual women, but much of the advice seems like it could be applicable to all romantic relationships. I highly recommend check out this blog!
Yes, I have followed your advice and checked it out. It is a good sound collection of aspects and advice on the whole topic. Often the onset of a chronic illness redefines a marriage or relationship (for better or worse). Depending on what each partner saw in the other entering the relationship any illness or disfiguration etc. might not matter at all. On the other hand, if the relationship was based on exactly those traits in one’s partner that now seem wanting after the illness renders them less and less usable/discernible then there are probably only two ways going forward: a) redefine the relationship and find ties that bind that are independent of the factors lost or else b) disband the whole thing. Or else the partner that cannot cope like a) is left with little less but feeling constantly guilty or the ill partner feeling constantly a burden.
Thanks for the shout-out Kerrie…I appreciate it! I’m so glad you stumbled upon my blog so that I could in turn stumble upon yours 🙂 I suffer from migraines too (although not as severe as yours) so I’m grateful I now have an excellent resource to help me cope and stay sane. Looking forward to getting to know you and your writings!
Helena
Good to hear from you, Helena! I studied interpersonal communication in grad school and dream of writing a book about couples’ communication and chronic illness. I love to see someone tackling this difficult subject.
Take care,
Kerrie