Last week, my friend and yoga teacher used some wonderful adjectives to describe me. We were in class, so all I could do was thank her. There was no chance for me to shrug her off, which I probably would have otherwise. In the meditation at the end of class, her kindness sunk in without judgment or dismissal.
How many times have you been told to “just take the compliment”? Our need to shrug them off is so strong that usually the person who is paying you the compliment has to tell you to shut up and take what he or she is saying. At least that’s how it is for me.
Think about the language I just used. Taking a compliment is merely putting up with what you’re being told. Compare this to accepting a compliment: you not only receive the words from the complimenter, you accept that the description may apply to you. Believing the compliment is exactly as it sounds — and it is really hard to do.
When someone pays you a compliment, they believe what they’re saying, otherwise they wouldn’t be saying it. (OK, this isn’t always true, but think about nice things people have said about you — I bet you’ll find most people have meant what they said.)
I cringe remembering all the times someone told me I was brave to face my illness head-on and I responded that I have no choice. I finally realize that I do have a choice. I could be hiding under the covers or complaining about how how bad I’ve got it.
Self-esteem suffers with the emotional ups and downs of any life-changing illness, which includes migraine and other headache disorders. When someone gives you a boost, believe it! I’m trying to.