I resisted going off the supplement that was causing depression-like symptoms, then I resisted starting antidepressants when I realized the depression hadn’t lifted. I told myself I didn’t want the side effects of antidepressants or to complicate my migraine variables. Those excuses are partly true, but mostly I didn’t want to acknowledge that I’m depressed enough to require medication.
The day I started back on Wellbutrin, my mood lifted. The antidepressant medication didn’t change my mood in a single day; the decision to take care of myself did. I don’t want to be depressed, but wishing it away is a fruitless endeavor. Instead of continuing to hide from the truth, I both recognized and accepted the depression and chose to treat it in the only way that’s ever been effective for me.
I am not out of the woods. It will take weeks to ramp up to a full dose of Wellbutrin and could take even longer to know how well it’s working for me. If it doesn’t, I could spend months trying to find the right medication (or medications) and dose. As I’m figuring all that out, I can take comfort in my decision to start taking antidepressants.
Self-care often falls by the wayside when a person is depressed. It doesn’t help that depression saps one’s motivation and hope. Overcoming all these factors makes for a gigantic first step. I’m proud of myself for taking it.
Good luck with your antidepressant search– true, it does not happen overnight— sometimes it takes what I believe is way too long — one day is too long! (My patience has been hampered by my migraine pain) But antidepressants do work, just need to find the right one— hope it happens very soon!
Kerrie:
Hang in there. One day at a time.
Timothy