“You’re doing everything right,” a friend wrote to me two years ago when my migraines were at their very worst. That sentenced has sustained me through many difficult patches. It has been so helpful for me that I want to tell you that you, too, are doing everything right.
The next 10 days afford many opportunities to talk with (hopefully) well-intentioned friends, family or co-workers who will tell you about the person they know whose horrible migraines were cured with a sun lamp/energy cleansing/daily enema. Maybe you’ll be lucky enough to encounter someone who tells you that all you need to do is think positive thoughts and your health will improve. Before you explode, try to take some deep breaths and remind yourself that this person probably means well but doesn’t understand the magnitude of your illness.
Then, instead of jumping on the guilt and self-doubt train that awaits folks with chronic illness (“I’m letting people down” or “I need to seek new treatments more aggressively”), remember that you are doing everything right. That’s really the only truth that matters. Whether or not you live up to someone else’s judgments, real or perceived, is irrelevant. Maybe you cancel plans or show up at the party without the requested potluck dish. So what. As long as you get up every day and try to live your life around your illness, you are doing everything just right.
Welllllll, you DID emerge for some family time on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and your presence added a wonderful dimension to our enjoyment of the holiday.
Love and kisses,
Mom
Thanks for all the comments. I’m glad you all found it helpful. As I was stuck in bed throughout the Christmas weekend, I had to remind myself repeatedly that I was doing everything right. We’re all doing the best we can!
Kerrie
Thank you. I really needed to hear this. I hope you had a great Christmas.
Thank you, this was wonderful way to enter the holliday. I have my own blogg in norwegian about the same topic, and I hope its okey that I borrow/qote this marvellous post from you. I have been following your blogg for quite som time, and I love it.
Tone, Norway
This made me cry. I just started a new job and I’m having a hard time explaining my daily headache to my coworkers and to the new man in my life. But this kind of made it feel better. Like it’s going to be OK.
Kerrie:
Thanks as a fellow migraineur-your message of Dec 23rd-
hit the nail right on the head. Everything you wrote was from
personal experience and insight. You have a gift in being
able to share your story in a helpful manner. Keep up what
you are doing Kerrie!!!
Timothy Bauer
Reno, Nevada
D’oh! I’m an idiot. I totally didn’t connect you with LiveJournal. Hi!!
Wow, thank you! I’m having a hard time this Christmas not having brought goodies to family gatherings and not having more well -thought gifts because I’ve been sick this past month. Thanks for the encouragement.
Happy Holidays! Just found your site–great resource. Googled migraine info this morning after waking up with a doozy. Chronic daily mild-ish migraines forever. Husband decided to buy and spray artificial pine scent in our living room last night. Hence today’s migraine (*strangle*). Merry Christmas to all!